It’s Ok Not To Be Ok About Your Hearing Loss

A man in a striped shirt and grey suit is leaning over a desk, his right fist is banging the desk and he is looking at the camera with an angry expression, his mouth is open as if he is shouting. I think he’s yelling at someone to stop mumbling.

Society teaches us that we shouldn’t talk about difficult feelings when they arise. Just deal with it and get over it. Move on.

When someone asks how you are, the answer is ‘fine’. We don’t share when we’re struggling. The goal is to be happy all the time – and who wouldn’t want that?

The problem is that when we aren’t happy, or can’t shake things off and move on, it feels like an additional thing thats gone wrong with us.

So we focus on changing our feelings or getting rid of them and worry when things don’t improve. But negative feelings and emotions are a natural reaction to difficulties.

Without sadness we wouldn’t recognise happiness. But the idea that sadness or similar emotions should be stopped or suppressed causes us to struggle with them. It makes them bigger and gives them more of our time than they deserve. 

Or it can lead to trying to avoiding our emotions, getting angry or becoming withdrawn, numbing emotions through alcohol or drugs, or avoiding relationships because the feelings that come up are too painful.

Emotional Difficulties of Hearing Loss

Hearing loss can have a significant effect on your emotions. People with hearing loss often experience sadness, hopelessness, and anxiety. The struggle to understand conversations and the feeling of being left out just makes things worse.

When social interactions become challenging, people step back from them. This causes feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Difficulties with communication can lead to frustration, both for the person with hearing loss and those around them. This frustration can sometimes manifest as anger.

Struggling to keep up with conversations and feeling different from others can negatively impact self-esteem and self-worth.

The constant effort to listen and understand can be exhausting and stressful, particularly in noisy environments.

All these feelings are a normal reaction to what you are going through.

Other Problems Caused by Hearing Loss

Hearing loss can also make you worry about the future. You may have safety concerns about not hearing traffic or smoke alarms. You may worry about missing something important, either at home with the phone or doorbell, or at work, where communication is key to any job role.

You may worry about relationships becoming strained with family or friends, especially if they don’t understand your new communication needs, or they may be dismissive of your worries.

You may be worried about what the future holds, it might look different to how you planned.

The Importance of Grieving for Your Hearing

Before you can act on any of the above and begin to heal and move on, you need to grieve for what you have lost.

Being able to recognise and accept your hearing loss is the first step toward coping with the change. Denial can make you delay seeking help, keep you feeling stuck and stop you from adjusting to your new circumstances.

Grieving allows individuals to process their emotions, which is crucial for emotional healing. It will help you come to terms with the loss and begin to move forward.

Once you can acknowledge your loss you can start to adapt, by advocating for yourself and finding out about assistive devices and communication strategies.

How to Grieve for Your Hearing

It's important to allow yourself to feel and acknowlege the full range of emotions that come with hearing loss, including sadness, anger, and frustration.

Talking to friends, family, a therapist or coach, can provide emotional support. Joining support groups for people living with hearing loss can also help.

Understanding the nature of your hearing loss can empower you to make informed decisions.

Learning new ways to communicate, such as lip reading or sign language, or using listening technology or hearing aids, can help you adapt to the change.

While you may not be able to change your hearing loss, there are other things under your control. You can find support, make lifestyle adjustments and explore strategies that work for you.

Integrating new habits and tools into your daily life will help you to create a routine that accommodates your hearing loss, making it a part of your new normal.

Your feelings may not improve straight away, or you may feel fine for a long time and then start to struggle. Everyone experiences change differently.

Getting support

ACT, or acceptance and commitment therapy, can be a useful tool in helping people to move forwards. It combines aspects of CBT and Mindfulness and has been proven to be effective in the treatment of anxiety, stress and depression, along with other conditions.

ACT promotes psychological flexibility, increasing the ability to cope and adapt when things get difficult. Instead of supressing or changing difficult feelings, ACT teaches clients to acknowledge what’s coming up for them. To name the feelings and emotions, to be able to step back from them and realise that just because they are having the thought – it doesn’t need to have power over them.

This can give people the ability to confront and resolve issues instead of being pulled in and trapped by the emotions the situation creates.

When you’re able to do this, it can allow you to do the things that are important to you, to live in a way that aligns with your values and take action to be the person you want to be.

This flexibility allows people to continue to live a meaningful life even when difficulties are showing up. This is just one of the tools I use in my coaching sessions. If you want to reach out, you can book a call here.

Most people think the definition of mental wellness is the absence of stress or difficult thoughts and emotions. So when you’re stressed or angry about your hearing loss, that feels wrong.

Mental wellness is being able to accept and allow how we are feeling during difficult times. To acknowledge strong emotions without being controlled by them.

And to understand that these feelings won’t stay forever, better things are on the way.