Is hearing loss making you feel lonely? Here’s how mindfulness can help.
Feeling lonely when you have hearing loss is common.
It’s a bit like being in a bubble, you’re with people, but separated from them. But if you smile and nod in the right places, no one else notices.
The conversation you’re trying to follow blends with the speech of others around you, turning into an auditory blur.
When you ask people to repeat themselves and they brush you off with ‘it doesn’t matter’ or ‘I’ll tell you later’ (when they never do) it makes you feel dismissed or unimportant.
Dinner table syndrome (the feeling of being alone and left out at special occasions with family and friends) is well publicised over Christmas, but for many people it’s a daily occurrence.
Even if you live with a large family in a busy household, hearing loss can make you feel lonely, disconnected and isolated.
Problems keeping up with conversations and not following what’s going on is frustrating, and makes you feel like you would rather be alone
So how can mindfulness help?
Understanding your emotions.
Instead of trying to suppress feelings of isolation, mindfulness lets us recognise and accept difficult feelings. By allowing them to be, rather than fighting with them we can learn to accept them without judgement. By doing this we can reduce their intensity and understand that feelings come and go.
Stop criticising yourself
Negative feelings are often accompanied by negative thoughts. So when we are feeling down, out thoughts immediately try and match how we feel.
If you’re feeling lonely and isolated, your inner narrative may include thoughts like ‘no one understands’, or ‘I’m better off alone’
These thoughts make the feelings worse, and the narrative continues.
Mindfulness creates space for self compassion, for being kind to yourself instead of beating yourself up. By reframing your thoughts you can break the cycle of self criticism.
Reconnection
Feeling lonely is often created by a sense of disconnection. By reconnecting with yourself, your breath and the present moment, you can feel grounded and supported, even when you’re alone.
Relationships and communication
Do you find yourself stressing about social events before they happen? Lots of ‘what if’s’ going round in your head.
‘What if I mishear and make a mistake’
‘What if people think I’m rude’
‘What if others make jokes about my hearing’
‘What if I can’t follow the conversation’
All these thoughts can make us so anxious that we stop trying to communicate with others. Mindfulness can help you to let go of these thoughts and frustrations of hearing loss, so that you can focus fully on interacting with others, and to be kind to yourself if you have to ask people to repeat themselves.
When you feel calm and grounded it’s easier to speak up for what you need.
Building resilience
Being alone is sometimes unavoidable. Mindfulness can help you to untangle yourself from difficult or negative thinking. It can help you to cultivate a more peaceful way of being, and allow you to explore the richness of small moments in day to day life.
Wellbeing
Mindfulness isn’t just about sitting quietly. It encourages people to be open to new possibilities and experiences.
Whether this is trying out different communication technology, changing your social network or joining a support group.
By cultivating mindfulness, you can develop a more balanced and compassionate relationship with yourself, and your experience of loneliness and isolation. It helps shift your focus from what's missing to the richness of the present moment and opens pathways to meaningful connections.
Mindfulness is not a quick fix. It takes time, practice and patience. But if you let it, it can be a starting point to create the change you want to see.
To find out more about mindfulness courses, click here.